Its been a rough couple of weeks. I knew it would be it doesn’t make it any easier. Next week will be my husband’s last week of travel and it can’t come soon enough. I’m done flying solo and doing everything. I have no problem admitting that I need him and that I am more balanced when he is around.
Yesterday was our wedding anniversary. We got up early and I drove him to the airport. Hugs and kisses were had. Tears came later as we remembered happy memories through text. Today is not really easier for me. I commend military wives who do this for months and even years in support of their husbands.
I still have not had a conversation with him about wanting to become a TTWD couple. I thought with him gone I could sort my feeling and thoughts out but I can’t right now. I have found though that the more I submit, the more he leads. He doesn’t even realize he does it which I love because it’s natural. The other day I was so worked up, my daughter and I were arguing over HER school project. She was frustrating the heck out of me because she wanted to do things differently than I felt would be beneficial to her. Her way wasn’t wrong just different. We were firing words back and forth and finally my husband made eye contact with me and just said, “Leave It”. I threw my hands up and walked the other way saying, “Okay, Okay, I know, I know”. LOL It’s her school project after all but I was taking it to a different level. This weekend before he left he said I want to sit down with you and discuss things you need to get done this week. More and more he has been reminding me of things that need to get done because I LOVE to procrastinate and we get burned sometimes. We never did sit down because we got busy but for me the fact that he said something shows me that he is aware and wants to help me out. These are just a few examples of little things I have noticed. To be honest I find it kind of sexy when he steps in and leads.
For now I am doing what I can to be the supportive wife and hold down the fort. I know he appreciates it because he tells me.
Quietly Surrendering 
Kate,
Jack and I have walked the road you are on. We were a military family dealing with deployments to scary places. I love when he said yes to taking the lead and we both talked about how this would mean I would step back. Of course after years of needed to step up when he was gone, this was not an easy thing for me to do. Hence the bumps, spankings. I am now so much better and things will smooth out for you too. Supporting wives holding down the fort deserve a medal too.
Meredith
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I have not doubt that giving up control will not be easy. I tend to “think” I know better than him and express that even if I know I am being irrational. It drives him crazy. My husband asked me what he would do with out me the other day after I had ran a bunch of errands for him. I simply looked at him and said, “You would be a whole heck of a lot busier”…LOL
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Hi Kate, Happy Anniversary to you both! I’m glad the traveling is nearly over. Separation and having to hold down the fort on your own is hard.
I’m glad your husband is taking the lead more and more. It’s a lovely secure feeling isn’t it:) Dominance and submission really do feed off each other.
Hugs
Roz
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It really is surprising how I feel so much more secure and at peace anytime he takes the lead. I am done trying to rationalize it. Now somehow I just need to express that to him and him not question my sanity.
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You’re getting there. Have you written down your thoughts, what you want, how you’d like to explain it to him, have you anticipated his questions, thought of blogs you could send him to? You might do that while he’s away. Nick and I communicate about this better in written word, if you think you’d rather communicate this way, you could send it to him. But even if you’d rather talk face to face it might really help you gets your thoughts together.
Best of luck to you.
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